Crowd-Pleasing Happy Bastards

Crowd-Pleasing Happy BastardsHaving set us into frenzy at the AsiaLIFE Radio Music Festival back in April, the Happy Bastards are gearing to mess with Phuket’s minds again.

Hailing from the jungle coast of Khao Lak on Thailand’s mainland there’s a rumble a-foot that’s causing anxious trepidation among us Phuket-onians – while we wait for the G-force onslaught of cheek warbling booms, we’ll just sit back and contemplate.

Smashing a mix of modern and classic rock, metal and punk the Bastards deliver a full ten-pinter you don’t forget in a hurry.

In preparation for the launch of our new gig venue at 9dSB in RPM on Friday 26 August, we caught up with the HBs in a good ole fashion Q&A stylee…

Alf B’stard
Birth date:  Pisces
Birthplace:  Sydney, Oz
Height:  1,790mm
Instruments played: electric guitar with 6 strings
Educated: Partially
Former Occupation:  Tree Lopping Civil Servamt
Hobbies:  Croquet
Favourite Actor:  Jack Nicholson
Favourite Actress:  Scarlett Johansson
Scotch Egg With:  Mustard only, followed by another scotch egg
Favourite Drink:  alcoholic ones, or Long Island Iced Tes
Get it Off Your Chest Request: Where are the music venues?
Favourite Band: Led Zeppelin
Favourite Musician: Hendrix
Likes: guitars, bicycles and lamb
Dislikes:  Politicians
3 Word Answer:  I don’t want to…”turn it down!”
Tastes in music: Loud and serrated

Wicked Keith
Band role: Front man
Birth date: Sometime in the 70s (Mum was a hippie)
Birthplace: Wimbledon Common
Height: Tall enough to reach the floor when having a piss
Instruments played: Larynx, diaphragm and nasal tubes
Educated: Somewhat
Former occupation: Landfill operative (a.k.a. printer)
Hobbies: Cultivating herbs
Favourite actor: Vinnie Jones
Favourite actresses: Mrs Doubtfire
Scotch egg with brown sauce, mustard or salad cream: Unhatched Scotsmen?? No thanks
Favourite drinks: Long Island Ice Tea
Get It Off Your Chest Request: Time Warp – Rocky Horror
Favourite band: Rubber, or elastic (I can’t decide)
Favourite musician: Freddie Mercury
Likes: Fast bikes
Dislikes: Traffic cops
Three-word answer to, ‘I don’t want to…’: …pay the fine.
Tastes in music: Sundry – I never had a sweet tooth

Joe Pike Bastard
Band role: Drums
Birth date: 24 July 1948
Birthplace: Cheshire, UK
Height: Can get under most low railway bridges without grazing my bald head
Instruments played: Snare, tom-toms, bass drum, cymbals, hi-hat (i.e. I’m a multi-instrumentalist)
Educated: Yes
Former occupation: Former adviser to Thai Prime Minister (and that’s actually true!)
Hobbies: Croquet
Favourite actor: Kim Jong-un (probably a nice guy – only pretends to be a cunt)
Favourite actresses: Ja Turbo (the girl who has an “itchy ear” in a strange place – check out her youtube)
Scotch egg with brown sauce, mustard or salad cream: mustard
Favourite drinks: ones with alcohol in them
Get It Off Your Chest Request: Stop asking me to fill in these fucking questionnaires!
Favourite band: Evanescence
Favourite musician: Captain Beefheart
Likes: Full strength Chang (pre-2015) in 630ml bottles
Dislikes: Watered-down Chang (post 2015) in 620ml bottles (the bastards…)
Three-word answer to, ‘I don’t want to…’: … shag Theresa May
Tastes in music: Any music played by people who know what they’re doing

Pitak Bass-Tard
(Our superstar is currently orbiting earth – will re-enter the atmosphere in time for the gig)